Surving the 7th Year
by WitchofNZ
Summary: So far, Hermione has turned into a gorgeous bubbly prep, who is currently stalking a handsome, confused Harry Potter. Together, he and his friend Bella attempt to de-prep Hermione, while a shallow Ron is convinced that Hermione is madly in love with him.
1. Running & Remembering

With a determined gasp, Harry Potter threw himself into a random door on the side of the long, blank hallway of which he had been charging down just a second before. Putting his handsome, dark head on the study wooden door, Harry listened as he heard the approaching footsteps. It took all his strength not to leap away from the door and hide as the footsteps stopped by the door…but then they moved away. With a sigh of relief, Harry brought out his wand and whispered _Lumos_. From the light coming from the wand, Harry could see that it was just an ordinary room…small, stone, and empty. Sliding down the door and catching his breath, relief was wrought all over the 17-year-old boy's face. What thing could have caused him so much horror? Snape, perhaps, chasing him in the dead of night? Filch, having caught Harry doing something wrong? Some horrible 3-headed beast that wanted Harry's blood? None of the above, actually. What Harry was hiding from was his own ex-best friend, Hermione Granger.

_Why, oh why, did it come to this?_ Thought Harry in more anger than sadness. Looking off into the distance, Harry forced himself to remember how it had started. It all began at the very first day of 7th term, four weeks ago…

_Dragging his trunk through a crowd of muggles, Harry couldn't wait to see his friends again. Ron had written a few times, but the boy was such a lazy teen that he hardly bothered to. It always made Harry laugh to see the "and you better appreciate the trouble I went through to write this!" that finished nearly ALL of Ron's letters. It was Hermione's silence that depressed him. He hadn't gotten a single letter from her. He had tried writing twice, but when she didn't reply, he figured she was on vacation. _But on vacation ALL SUMMER? _Thought Harry, depressed, as he raced through the wall of platforms 9 and 10. And the first sight that met his eyes was a crowd of redheads, all 9 of the Weasleys, come to see Ron and Ginny off. Mrs. Weasley was drying her eyes, and Mr. Weasley was congratulating Ron, who had decided to take Animal Studies as his profession. Charlie was going to tutor him as soon as Ron got out of school, as Ron had informed him in one of the letters. Even Percy was there, looking rather miffed that his own brother hadn't chosen working at the Ministry. Ron looked rather embarrassed that his whole family was there, but he was talking easily with them, occasionally casting around a watchful eye for friends. Ron wasn't the string bean he had once been…he had filled out a lot, yet girls still seemed to like him a lot. Fred and George were there, too. Fred was hugging Ginny, and George was chatting with Ron with his arm was around his now 3 year girlfriend, who was Harry and Ron's age. Bella, who was a pretty round-faced blonde, was grinning and talking with Charlie, but she still had her arm around George. It was an amusing sight, and looked like fun. Harry smiled to himself and was about to head over there when a shriek stopped him._

_ "HARRY!! DEAR!! OH MY GOODNESS! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN SO LONG, DARLING!" Harry looked around, confused, but before he could see who had called out he was nearly knocked to the ground by a girl flying into his arms. The girl was VERY outgoing, having wrapped her legs around Harry's waist so that she was just being held up by Harry's strength. Harry was clueless as to who it was, although the thick chestnut brown hair that was cut in a stylish, short fashion seemed oddly familiar…_

_ "Hermione?!" he said, a statement along with a question. The girl took her face away from Harry's chest, where it had been buried, and she beamed. No doubt…this girl was Hermione. Dropping gracefully to the ground, Hermione said in a loud voice to Harry,_

_ "Harry! Dear! You remember me! Oh my goodness, I just LOVE you!! Why didn't you write, doll? Dear…" but Harry blocked out the rest. This was not at ALL like Hermione! What was wrong? _

But before his brain could wonder, his eyes started going berserk. Last year, Hermione had still been a rather awkward-looking chick. Thin like a stick, with an oddly large face for such a small body and HUGE hair that seemed to swallow her up, Hermione hardly seemed like the girl that would attract much attention. Now, however…well, those three months that Harry hadn't seen Hermione…wow, had she CHANGED!! She had spectacular curves that would drive any guy wild, her breasts had blossomed from the nothing last year, and just kept on blossoming! Her face was thin in a beautiful way, and she looked so gorgeous that she would drive any guy wild just as she was, but that apparently was not enough for Hermione. Her face was plastered with lipstick, eye shadow, eyeliner, blush…you name it, was on her face. And instead of Hermione's nice little pleated skirts that she had worn last year…she was wearing a skin-tight black miniskirt that looked PAINTED on! Her shirt was no better…a small tank-to that covered her belly button, but it came down far enough to make ANY girl walk off in a huff of jealousy. It made Harry's breath catch in his throat, but it WASN'T HERMIONE!

_And before Harry could question what had happened or ANYTHING, they heard a deep voice call out,_

_ "Oi! Harry! 'Sat you, mate? Long time no see! And who's that…HERMIONE??" Ron stepped up beside them and stared at Hermione with a mixture of wondrous confusion and attraction. The rest of the Weasley family wasn't far behind. _

_ "Harry! Nice to see you again, lad." Said Mr. Weasley, and he and Harry shook hands. But before he could greet the rest of the Weasley family, Mrs. Weasley said sharply,_

_ "Ron, dear? Are you…?" But she didn't need to continue. Ron's eyes were practically spinning out of his head at the sight of Hermione._

_ "Her-Her-Hermy! Is it…you? Wow, I-I-hello!" choked out Ron, seeing no one but Hermione, who giggled, obviously used to the attention._

_ "Hello, Ron, dear. Come, Harry, let's get on the train, shall we?" she replied, not even bothering to hide the fact that she would much rather be with Harry._

_ "Is THIS the little beauty that taught us so much so many years ago? Wow!" cried Fred, eyeing Hermione with something a little less than attraction._

_ "For once I have nothing to add! Wow! That's all that really describes it!" stuttered George, who was glared at by Bella. Bella hadn't like Hermione as an annoying little know-it-all, and she obviously despised THIS Hermione even more. But before she could voice her opinion, Hermione said,_

_ "Come, COME! Let's go. We must get on the train. COME!" And she dragged Harry onto the Hogwarts Express, with Ron following close behind, him practically drooling. _

_ "I'll be right there!" cried Bella as she started to kiss George good-bye. _

_ In their compartment, Hermione wasn't even TRYING to hide her attraction to Harry, and it was creeping him out. Ron didn't even seem to notice, he hung on everything Hermione said. Girls had always liked Harry…he was, after all, the Boy Who Lived, but this year was different. Having sprouted several inches over the summer, Harry was taller than most boys his age. With his mussed dark hair and blue contacts, Harry had that exact laid-back look that drove most girls wild. His face was lean and handsome, with a great smile that opened up lines on his face. Hermione, like all the muggle girls Harry had attracted over the summer, obviously LOVED this new Harry. And that was how it started. A little start-of-term attraction, a little flirting, and now…_

Harry sighed, dragging a hand through his hair in an exact imitation of his late father at his age. He knew it was no use hiding…Hermione would find him, eventually, and then what could he do? When she had first showing off to him that she had been researching sex-related spells, ones that tied people to a bed until they were screwed, or ones that ensured birth control, etc. etc., THAT was when he had started being REALLY freaked out, and started thinking that something was going down a LITTLE too seriously then he would like. And now look at him. Running away from his stalker through blank hallways like a rat. With another sigh, he raised his wand to check out the room again. The walls weren't as hard as they had appeared…in fact; they seemed to be changing from a hard, solid gray to a wobbly, light gray. Mystified, Harry instinctively jumped to his feet as the wall began to move beneath him. Reaching for the door, he found it wasn't there anymore; there was just the gray gloop in which grabbed his hand and sucked it in. He couldn't run away, anyhow…his feet were being sucked in. With a sheepish "uh-oh", Harry waited bravely to be sucked in to wherever this wall was taking him…whether to death, or some place else.


	2. Spit Out in the Trophy Room

With a loud GLOOP, an unconscious Harry Potter was dropped from the wall into a large trophy. The room had sucked Harry in, knocked him unconscious, and taken him to the trophy room. But Harry wasn't the only one there. The Trophy Room had become Bella's spot for crying whenever she missed George. Her sniffles stopped and there was a scream as Harry dropped into the trophy for "TIM JOHNSON, THE OWL TAMER"!

Harry felt himself being shaken violently, and he shook his head and moaned. His lungs hurt, as though he hadn't breathed for awhile, and everything looked blurry. Confused, he looked up into the tear-streaked face of Bella Fowl, who began to scream.

"HARRY!! WHAT HAPPENED?? WHY ARE YOU IN THE TROPHY ROOM? WHAT DID THE WALL **DO** TO YOU??" Bella had a loud voice that carried, and Harry was instantly awakened.

"Bella! Bella! Calm down! I just accidentally ran into an enchanted room, that's all. It spit me out here." Instantly Bella's sad face took on a sympathetic look.

"Hermione, right? Poor baby. I'm sorry." She said, though Harry thought he caught a glimpse of humour in her eyes. "Well, I knew this would happen. It always does. Nerds can never stay nerds unless they have the willpower of a brick wall, and they never do." Bella continued, shaking her head. "Hermione was no exception. Didn't you hear what happened?"

"No!! I was too busy trying to RUN AWAY!!" Bella grinned at that.

"True. Well apparently, this summer Hermione started…growing…in certain places. She was terrified, and didn't know what to do. In August she visited her cousin, in Hawaii, where it was EXTREMELY hot. Her cousin got Hermione to start wearing the clothes she is now. And Hermione started driving the boys WILD. And, well, Hermione liked it! What girl wouldn't? So now she goes about like that and thinks she can get any guy she feels like. It sucks." Sighed Bella, studying the trophy Harry was still lying in.

"How'd you hear THAT?" asked Harry, attempting to get out of the trophy without knocking it over. Bella laughed at Harry's attempts, and grabbed his hand and yanked him out.

"Ron, of course. He's on Cloud 9, I swear. It doesn't occur to him that Hermione doesn't want him!" cried Bella. "If it were anyone but Ron, it would be funny."

You see, Bella had had a crush on Ron for the LONGEST time, but Ron had had eyes only for girls like Parvarti Patil. Then, in the 4th year, Bella didn't get a date for the Yule Ball. Deciding to do his good deed for the millennium, George asked her to the dance. And…well…they hit off. It'd been true love ever since.

"That's very true. Ron must have an enchanted mirror, that shows him some extremely handsome young man rather than himself!" said Harry, trying to joke. Bella shook her head.

"He IS good looking! At least, I think so…" she trailed off, starting to turn. "I've gotta go do homework, sorry Harry."

"HOMEWORK?? What happened to the Bella Fowl **I** know, where she'd rather DIE then do homework?" joked Harry, racing up beside his friend. Bella turned and smiled at him.

"Fine. What do you want to do, then? Plot against Hermione?" Harry's face got a thoughtful look on it.

"You know, that might not be such a bad idea…"


	3. Plotting Against Hermione!

A wicked grin on her face, Bella shoved a piece of paper under Harry's nose. With a yell, Harry jumped back. He and Bella were in the Gryffindor Common Room, and Bella had been scribbling on that piece of paper since she and Harry had gotten back from the trophy room. She hadn't let him see it at ALL. He had dared to ask what it was for about 10 minutes earlier, and Bella had glared at him and hissed,

"It's for HERMIONE, dolt." And she had gone back to scribbling on the paper. Harry had stayed quiet since then. But it had been 20 minutes, and he had almost fallen asleep on the bright red couch when Bella finished.

"THERE!" she hissed, pointing vigorously at the paper.

"What?? WHAT??" cried Harry, trying to focus on the paper as Bella's finger jabbed wrinkles in it. "Bella, I can't…" and with a groan of frustration, Harry snatched the paper out of Bella's hands. An angry, startled look on her face, Bella glowered at Harry as he read what was on the paper as fast as he could. Finally, he gave it back. "I don't get it, Bella. Looks like a bunch of scribbles to me." Bella hugged the paper to her chest and glared harder at Harry. _Damn, she had a wicked glare!_ Thought Harry as Bella spoke.

"Fine. I'll spell it out for you _simpleton_." Bella turned around the paper and jabbed at a log-shaped thing standing up vertically. "_That_, smart one, is Hermione's shampoo. I brought along some hair dye with me, and I think we should do a little...switch." said Bella wickedly, pointing at another vertical log drawn on the paper and traced the line drawn between it and the "shampoo container".

"Nice. What did you bring?" asked Harry, his mind racing hopefully with thought that if Hermione felt self-conscious, she might not stalk him anymore.

"Purple, lime green, neon blue…" listed Bella, counting off on her fingers. "I think that's it. Oh! And sea green. Kind of a mix between blue and green. But I'm gonna use that for MY hair, so that's not for Hermione." She said in an almost amusing business-like manner.

"What??? Dye your hair?? Bella…why??" cried Harry, staring at Bella's thick blonde hair, which he found very pretty on her. Bella shrugged.

"Because! I want to. EVERYONE tells me I'd look good with a blue-green colour…so I am. ANYWAY, this isn't about me. It's about Hermione. What colour do you say, Harry?" Harry dragged a hand through his raven-black hair, a thoughtful look on his handsome face as he leaned back on the plush red couch.

"Mmm…I don't know. Let's mix 'em! How about a mix of purple and green?" Bella opened her mouth like she was going to protest, but then settled back into her seat, a velvet purple armchair, and nodded thoughtfully. "Nice idea…very nice… that would get a kind of ugly christmasy-colour." Bella's famous grin spread across her face. It was lopsided, and very wicked in a witty way. Whenever she was happy, she had her grin on. It made her practically famous around Hogwarts…that and the fact that she was dating George Weasley.

In a random spurt of energy, Bella leaped out of her chair and smacked Harry on the back, obviously meaning to be friendly.

"I love it! Let's do it."

"When…?"

"NOW!!" cried Bella, turned to run upstairs, but was caught by Harry.

"Whoa there, Bell. I know you're impatient…but let's wait. Tonight, maybe. Then we can see the horrific results tomorrow morning, after she's taken a shower."

"NOW, DAMMIT!!" yelled Bella, trying to get away but stopped as the eyes of her fellow Gryffindors fell upon her. Glowering, she sunk back into her seat. "Fine. I'll wait. But only until she's asleep, ya got that?? THEN YOU CAN'T HOLD ME BACK!" hissed Bella, only a little too loudly. Harry grinned.

"Good for you, Bell, good for you." And before Bella could reply, a rather star-struck looking Ron Weasley entered the room.

"RON!" cried Bella happily as the stout redhead sat next to Harry, a far-away look on his face. Ron didn't reply.

"Ron? Dude. Wake up." Said Harry, a little more than annoyed at Ron's behavior. He raised a hand to whack the Weasley back into reality, but Ron blinked and looked around.

"What? Oh! Bella! Hi." He said, and looked like he was about to drift off again when Harry grabbed his arms and shook him.

"Ron! You leave us again and so help me I'll hex you all the way to the United States!"

"Yeah, Ron. Fill us in.," said Bella sarcastically, knowing full well why Ron was acting like this. Ron didn't notice, though, and a HUGE grin spread across his freckled face.

"Hermione likes me, you know." He started, and Harry and Bella exchanged a knowing glance. "She can't keep her hands off me. Seriously, I met her in the hallway…she couldn't say hello until she had grabbed my hand. I'll hafta fight her off with a stick sooner'n later." Bragged Ron, that weird smile still stretched across his face. Bella suddenly grinned too.

"Ron, are you drunk? I TOLD you to lay off the firewhiskey!" Ron stared back at Bella indignantly.

"Of course not! I just…Hermione…" and he was off again in his dream world. Harry snorted.

"Ron's in loooove." Said Harry sarcastically, punching his friend's shoulder

"Ron? Are you crazy? Dude, Ron is like the kiddy pool while we're the 12-foot-deep-end!" cried Bella, getting a rather wild look in her eyes. Harry and Ron both stared at her with the same look in their eyes.

"Uh, Bella?" they said together, eyeing their friend.

"Yeah, I'm shallow. So what? You compare me to a KIDDY pool?" growled Ron, now back in reality fully. Bella grinned.

"YOU'RE BACK WITH US, RON!!" she cried happily, throwing her arms around Ron's broad shoulders. A little edgily, Ron replied,

"OK, what are you and Harry planning? You've both got that…LOOK…and you're acting a little odd." Harry and Bella turned and grinned at each other.

"Us? Plotting something? Are you INSANE?' said Harry in over-exaggerated innocence at the same time Bella cried,

"A LITTLE odd?? Ron, where have you BEEN these past 7 years??" And before Ron could reply, he saw the piece of paper on the floor between Harry and Bella.

"What…?" and Bella snatched it back

"YOU CAN'T LOOK AT THAT!" she screamed, hugging it to her chest.

"What IS it??" snapped Ron peevishly, leaning back on the couch, defeated.

"You'll see soon enough." Said Harry, rather cunning for him. And, with a final grin at each other, Harry and Bella retreated to a corner so they could work out the details, leaving a rather bemused Ron by the couches.


	4. Mission 1!

And so, in the dead of night, the deed was done. Bella crept in, added purple & green to Hermione's shampoo, and crept back so stealthily it was almost ninja. Well, except for that _one_ fall on the way back that sent Bella reeling & landed her hand no more then 3 inches away from Cookshanks, sleeping on the foot of Hermione's bed. That damn cat, so much like its owner, Bella doubted she would have minded if she _had_ accidentally broken something of the felines'. But the blonde resisted, lifting her hand away and creeping carefully back into bed.

Morning came all too slowly, breakfast, even worse. Eventually, though, it ended with Harry seated at the Gryffindor table in-between Bella and Ron. The latter was talking to Seamus Finnigan about Hermione- "Oh, yeah, she digs me" – provoking murderous glares from Bella. Not helping that Hermione had yet to show up, which would certainly have lightened the mood.

And then, there she was. Standing in the doorway into the Great Hall, looking a bit confused but otherwise unruffled. Bella saw what had gone wrong immediately, and screamed, "Son of a BITCH!" before stabbing her fork into her over-easy egg, sending yolk everywhere. Harry looked at Hermione in bewilderment before leaning over to Bella and hissing, "Did you…do it?" For, Hermione's hair was not remotely purple, or even close to green. When mixing two such different colours, what is it one gets? Brown, of course. Hermione's hair was noticeably different, darker, but not at all _odd._

Spying Harry on the other side of the Hall, the now-darker brunette brightened and literally skipped over to him before throwing herself between Harry & Ron. Nearly draping herself all over Harry & his lap, Hermione put her head on Harry's shoulder and said in a half-pout, "Do I look…different, to you, baby?" Harry blinked a couple times, looked over at Bella for help, saw the blonde's head shake, and replied, "Er…no?" rather unconvincingly. Feeling a foot connect with his shin, Harry winced and cried, "REALLY…no." Looking up at him for a moment in confusion, Hermione shrugged & snuggled down on his shoulder.

"Right, mate," said Seamus to Ron, spying Hermione all over Harry. "Good luck with that."

"Save the luck for someone who needs it," Ron replied boastfully, smirking and glancing back at Hermione adoringly. This was all Bella could take, provoking a frustrated scream from the girl as she stood & stormed out of the Great Hall.

"Traitor!" Harry called miserably after her. Hermione didn't get the point, however, only reached up and turn his face back towards her.

"Don't talk to _her_," she purred. "Talk to _me._"

Mission 1: Failure to Launch.

_A/N: Holy shit, it's been forever. But I've gotten my muse back, and have decided to plunge back into the FF world. I think my writing skills have gotten a tad better after years of RPing, anyway. Hope you like this new chapter!_


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